This morning continued a funk that’s been plaguing me for days. I blame hormones and coming off two months of events at work. June and July were full to the brim. Post-event recovery is always a challenge for me, and adding in a kiddo has only upped the ante (talk about always being on).
I snapped this picture during breakfast. I don’t have much to say about bicycles today, but I did want to remember that I get to choose my thoughts. Not my hormones swings, or my mood, even, but the thoughts that all of those things produce, creating either more good or more negative vibes.
Easier said than done, for sure.
I ordered food that would support my feeling better (green tamales with eggs) and skipped the coffee for a matcha latte. I drank a glass of water. When H called me out on my bad mood I hugged him and apologized.
Sometimes it’s hard to break the cycle, but I tried. Maybe there’s an analogy about balance and peddling and smooth riding in all of this, but I don’t have the energy for that right now.
Instead, it seems what helped was laying in bed and reading while the baby napped. (Isn’t fiction always the answer?) Getting some time alone – no one touching my body or needing something or crying or talking. Just me, alone to myself, the a/c cranked and something relaxing to do.
Shifting our thoughts takes practice, but shifting our environment or actions, is maybe a simpler step. A baby puts so much restraint on my free time and yet, it doesn’t really take much to come back to myself. Going out for breakfast, reading, pulling a tarot card, listening to a podcast, writing here… In other words, not only getting back to myself, but giving myself a break.
I highly recommend it.
PS – Pregnancy + the hills in this neighborhood means I haven’t ridden my bike in over a year. In fact, it’s pretty much is ruined from living on the patio during the rainiest LA winter in a long while. While there’s a lot I’m grateful for in our new(er) spot, I miss biking and the ocean terribly so. Like this magic from two years ago, almost to the day. ::sigh::
PPS – I highly recommend Hormone Horoscope app which helps me remember, oh right, I’m not crazy, I’m just totally out of estrogen.
For the month of August, I am posting each day using a prompt from The August Break challenge by Susannah Conway. The prompts encourage a “month of paying attention” which goes hand-in-hand with my new moon intention to focus on my creativity. I’m sharing all my photos on Instagram with #jtaugustbreak