Feeling

Tangles

May 27, 2015

tanglesWhelp, we’re only 9 days into Mercury Retrograde with a good measure of tangles and it’s safe to say we’re getting our asses kicked.

I’m writing this to you from my kitchen table, huge glass of cool water and my phone buzzing with text messages next to me. Everyone I know seems to be dealing with some giant pile of shit and it.just.keeps.coming.

There’s no real advice here this morning, nothing to say except hang in there.

This is not your life forever. There was a time when things weren’t like this and there will be a time when they’re different again. When the frustrations won’t feel so stabbing, when you are happy to get out of bed in the morning, when you don’t need a donut or a cigarette or a 5mile run to make it through the afternoon.

I don’t know about you, but I’m looking for the little things. Yes, I’m in the weeds of it all, with a feeling of no end in sight, but look at how lovely the weeds are. Directly, I mean. The green, the striations, the way the skin on the leaves holds in the veins of water. Look at the shoots of new growth and the height at which they top out.

Notice the details of your day. This intentional settling into the reality of your space. Run your hand over the comforter as you lay in bed. Feel how your hand touches it and it touches you back. Run your tongue over your freshly brushed teeth. Try a forward bend or a downward dog, if you’re feeling really adventurous. Drive with all the windows down and no music on. Or blast Taylor Swift like it’s your lifeline. Whatever will bring you a moment of perspective, of happiness, of joy.

Notice the knots in the tangles, the thread of the snares, the way it feels to be here, right now. It doesn’t have to be the WORST or BEST day ever. It can just be today. You can just be you, in these moments, breathing in the life you have.

Notice, notice, notice.

You Might Also Like

8 Comments

  • Reply Katie May 27, 2015 at 3:29 pm

    love, love, love!

    • Reply jtao21 May 28, 2015 at 6:28 am

      Thank you xoxo

  • Reply Nina May 27, 2015 at 9:25 pm

    Amen sister

    • Reply jtao21 May 28, 2015 at 6:28 am

      xo

  • Reply Renee May 27, 2015 at 10:18 pm

    “It can just be today. You can just be you, in these moments, breathing in the life you have.”

    YES. Wonderful.

    This week, and last, have been awful. Not because of life itself happening, but because I’ve stood in my own way! A week ago I was fixated on answering all of the pressing questions about my wants for the future (after we had just discussed setting intentions, I spazzed out and started questioning mine)…then coming to the conclusion that there are things I can’t answer about my intentions right now, so I’m giving my brain a pass on these things until exactly a year from now, during which I will revisit these questions, and meanwhile just live life. This week has just been my own lack of motivation and becoming easily distracted with things…four hours of a video game instead of writing…far too much Facebook time…putting off laundry and grocery shopping and other things to the last possible second because my immediate comfort trumped productivity…lack of good healthy food and far too much sugar. Each day has been a struggle to start over in a healthier way, but at least I’m learning how to pick myself up quicker each time. I sometimes feel like I’ve got it all figured out, and then I backslide…but then I realized life is a constant flow of things. It’s not just one big “a-ha!” moment and then you’re set. Baby steps, every day, being in the moment, trying to be the most authentic version of yourself.

    <3

    • Reply jtao21 May 28, 2015 at 6:34 am

      Oh my gosh, totally. Sorry our convo gave you a thought spiral haha. It is all baby-steps and also just cutting ourselves some slack. Which is so much easier said than done. xo

  • Reply The Swings – Allowing Myself June 3, 2015 at 8:50 am

    […] been a rough few weeks, as we are all feeling. On Saturday, H asked if the crazy hours I’m putting into work are […]

  • Reply Rightful Success – Allowing Myself June 5, 2015 at 12:56 am

    […] true. As much as the emotions can range, the coffee run happens later and later, and the number of Lara bars consumed in one day rises […]

  • Leave a Reply