Yesterday, I was finally feeling better. Such a relief.
And this morning I felt groggy but comfortable, tired but awake. Like functioning throughout the day wouldn’t be difficult. But then that old dread hit me – I don’t know where it came from, what thought or instance set it off again.
And I thought about how this feeling correlates to the pressure I put on myself, and I thought, “pick one thing… and start”. Ok. I can do that. “Take your time.” Ok, I can do that.
So, I did. I walked the dog, listened to an awesome interview with Andrea Scher (lots of serendipity here), cooked breakfast, took a hot shower, read a few blogs, called my mom while I drove to work, and started organizing and throwing out piles of paper when I got in.
My life is pure luxury because I have a job where I control my schedule, my tasks and even my goals. Of course there are reviews and projects, people to report to (though less lately), but I have more freedom than most. It is a major blessing.
Especially during weeks like this, where it seems everyone who works on site is cranky and uncommunicative, office politics running high. Where they feel resentful and unappreciated. Where the anxiety levels are turned up to 11.
I have the luxury of distance. 3,000 miles lay between me and the person in the next cubicle. So I can just put my head down and do my work.
For the month of November, I write each day about something I’m grateful for and call it Grateful Season. It’s my way of reviewing the amazing year I’ve had and helps me focus on blogging during the crazy holiday season uptick. Feel free to join me – just make sure you let me know!
Side note: to be honest, I feel like I’m coping out on these posts somehow. I wanted to use them as an review of my year, but instead they seem to be just daily posts. Since I invented this series, there is no “wrong” way to do it, but seriously, I was hoping to get a tad more in-depth by now.