The Month of 10

October 1, 2012

It clocked in at 104* this afternoon at my office. It doesn’t feel anything like October.

We woke up to a dense fog, which was a relief in itself – moisture in the air, cloud coverage – but as it burned off during my run with the little guy, it became uncomfortable. I wore two outfits today – one to drive in the heat and one to wear in the office a/c.

I’m working to weed myself out of the disquiet that’s been on me all September. At this point, I don’t know if I’ll ever know the cause but I’m relearning self-care routines that help.

Morning pages help so much. My journaling of the past was full of berating and controlling remarks, but over the past two years it’s changed. As the voice in my head has become more loving, so has my writing. Today it was a life-line.

2 things are happening. 1. I am perfectly capable of determining what needs to be done and when and 2. I am totally able to accomplish the work that really matters. But what I’m doing, I think, is thinking of work as some crazy overarching pressured bag rocks that I’m crying around. That there’s not enough time in the day or that I can’t keep up. This is not true as I set the pace…

I just closed my eyes and took a quiet moment and thought, “I’m doing it”. There’s less to do than I think. And another mantra that I’ve already forgotten I do need to “tune in more. take a moment. tap into my wiser self.” ~except morning pages 10.1.12

And then, as I ate veggies and egg whites for breakfast, I read this blog post. It gave me pause.

I’ve been trying to be more mindful. Because it’s so easy to rush. To feel like one isn’t getting ahead, or even keeping abreast. What are the daily decisions that keep us happy? That keep us remembering the whole picture? Soaking it all in, soaking in the details even as they can overwhelm. Focusing on what needs to be done and forging ahead when some days I just want to curl up in bed and nap. ~brooke schmidt

It was a wink, an echo, a reminder.

So on this unseasonably hot day here, I am welcoming in the month of 10, a new transit and another opportunity to trust.

p.s. on cuteoverload.com they call it “tock-tober” – the pic is a Carter’s participation

You Might Also Like


  • Reply Intensity « Allowing Myself October 2, 2012 at 8:49 pm

    […] for some reason, today the anxiety dissipated. I’ll thank my morning pages writing for some of this – I’ve noticed my writing has taken me to a deeper, more […]

  • Reply Movies, Music and Moon « Allowing Myself October 6, 2012 at 1:41 pm

    […] picture above was taken the same day at this one. Happy weekend!} Like this:LikeBe the first to like this. Published: October 6, 2012 Filed […]

  • Reply Happy Halloween « Allowing Myself October 31, 2012 at 6:47 pm

    […] in. It’s dark early now. The gray fog rolls in each morning. It was so hot there for so long I thought we’d never get back to my favorite coastal LA weather. But here we are – […]

  • Reply This Grateful Season – SoCal Fall « Allowing Myself November 8, 2012 at 10:23 pm

    […] know I complained like a baby about the heat the past few months. Some days, it felt unbearable. Others it was so perfect in the […]

  • Leave a Reply