Being back home is wonderful, but it also brings back the sludge from 2 weeks ago. Traveling, running from work meeting to meeting, and seeing friends kept my mind engaged and my anxiety to a minimum. Friday I was too jet-lagged to comprehend emotional frustrations, but they came barreling back Saturday morning.
Yesterday I cleaned the bathroom in a rage, hair stuck out from steam,looking like a crazy lunatic. Our apartment feels more and more filthy, disorganized and overheated the longer we stay here. I desperately want new carpet and to repaint the living room just to freshen things up, but H never pulled the trigger on any of it in August when we had the time.
Writing morning pages is such a help. I tried to at least acknowledge these issues and then work through them. What matras do I need? What self-care am I aching for? What will truly make me feel better?
It’s a line of broken promises to myself again. I see that. So today I did yoga, restocked the fridge and finally put contact paper down in our kitchen cabinets. I know this seems like the silliest thing, but I’m the one in control of myself & these projects I think I want to do – so I’m the one who actually can do them.
I still have to clean the kitchen – maybe that won’t happen until tomorrow night, but each layer of contact paper that went down made me feel better and better. I’m still struggling with these moods and learning to let them pass through me as opposed to stooping and analyzing them for too long. Can’t say I’m looking forward to going back to work tomorrow (especially with a forecast of 102* at my office) but I feel I made a small bit of progress today. That’s all I can ask for, I guess.
What did your Sunday teach you…? xo