I’m not sure what was going on today but my energy was odd. I ran 3miles this AM with Carter (that was great) and then at work I couldn’t concentrate. Instead of working deeply on a large project, I bounced around from task to task. On the verge of feeling frustrated, someone showed up unannounced to meet with me (first time ever in 15 months at my job). I knew that was my signal to give into the day and go with the flow.
The old me would’ve felt thrown under a bus, but I really did just go with it.
In retrospect, I accomplished a bunch of tasks, including moving some event plans along. Still, there’s a nagging sense of “could’ve done more” but tomorrow is another day.
All of this reminded me of an email I sent a friend this weekend. Below is part of what I wrote to her:
I have a fairly flexible schedule for work. This would actual be a nightmare for the me of 3 years ago, but I’ve learned through therapy and trial-and-error that I need to “put my oxygen mask on first”. Meaning, I spend a few hours in the morning taking care of myself: writing, spending time with Carter, exercising, eating and doing what I need to before I do work. Then I do all of my work at the office and then it’s back home. I’ve found you can’t do everything everyday so I pick and choose what I can. I do have things that are super important to me and I make sure those are priorities each week (exercising, sleeping, good convos with people, writing, spending time with my husband, reading and time alone).
I think the most important thing I want to pass on to other women is to be gentle with yourself. I’ve lowered my standards of a “productive” day to a “good” day… A productive day used to be to get everything done on my To Do list and maybe get to read or write. Now a good day is one where I accomplish one major work task and one major home task (clean a bathroom, grocery shop) and the rest of the day is enjoying my life. It’s a hard change to make from the crazy-NY-work-is-your-worth upbringing we experienced. Our work, being productive, does not prove our worth. You are worthy of your life and being here just by BEING you.
I took my own advice today. When I got home I didn’t force myself to do another thing on my list. Instead, I took Carter Cash out for a bike ride in the summer sun. And it was just what he and I needed. A good day.