Feeling

Got The Memo

July 1, 2012

View from my brunch with friends yesterday. Can’t wait to be on the plane to Hawaii…

Ok, I’m finally hitting my limit with all of the wedding stuff. Excitement has turned back to anxiety. I feel panicked about not pleasing people, about having to change our plans because someone is inconvenienced or my actions completely offended them.

How the hell am I supposed to know?

I can’t and I don’t. We don’t. We’re trying our best and so fucking thankful for everyone’s help that it so catches us off guard when someone is miffed by a decision we’ve made.

“Are you freakin’ out?” people keep asking me…

And I think, “Uh. No. Did I miss the memo?”

But yes. Now I am freaking out. I’m tired, we still have a lot to do, and we’re only going to add on the stress of traveling and having lots of family around us in the next (5) days. Yesterday I felt so super accomplished with how much we’ve done, how close to our budget we’ve stayed, how amazing all the pieces are failing into place. We’re kicking ass.

Today was me defeated. H said something to me and I started crying. I feel like I want to crawl into bed and just hide. My hope is that a good night’s sleep gets me back on track.

Last full day of work tomorrow. That’s something to look forward to.

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3 Comments

  • Reply Clarity, Or Lack Thereof « Allowing Myself July 2, 2012 at 10:14 pm

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  • Reply Been Here All Along « Allowing Myself July 24, 2012 at 8:38 pm

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  • Reply Thank You 2012 « Allowing Myself January 1, 2013 at 7:00 pm

    […] was hands-down the best month since we GOT MARRIED on 7.7.12 ! Though before that, I hit my limit. Then we honeymooned in Hawaii on the islands of Maui and Kauai. We returned home to rest […]

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