Yesterday was tough, in the way that this time of the month can be for me. I don’t know why, but the 20th / 21st of the month has become Breakdown City. Hormones? The moon? Sunday was no exception.
My horoscope mentioned that I would need a lot of down time built into this season. Some days, I remember, and make sure to read, nap or sip hot tea. Other days, it goes out the window with the rest of my sanity. While my new approach to swap “excitement” in for “anxiety” is helping, it doesn’t completely alleviate the drama in my head.
I am still panicked that there’s too much to do for the wedding and not enough time or that the choices I’m making will somehow be “dumb” when the special day arrives. It’s enough to drive anyone insane. Luckily, I have perspective because I totally see how people become Bridezillas.
Today’s relaxation came along by accident. As the wedding planning creates that vortex of “what I should be doing?” this morning I found myself rebelliously choosing to do whatever I wanted from the start.
I’ve been drinking too much again. 5 nights in a row of alcoholic beverages makes for one cranky Monday morning. So, after writing my MPs, I laid back down and promptly feel asleep for another 45min. When I woke up, I felt much better.
Then, as per usual, I walked the dog, enjoying the neighborhood. I swear these walks are keeping me sane. I knew I had (2) meetings to go to and planned to ride my bike. As the hours of the morning ticked away, I worried there wouldn’t be enough time. Should I drive instead? (See, should !)
“Fuck it” I thought. “If I’m late, I’m late” and grabbed my bike and went.
20min and 3miles later, I was covered in a spritzing of sweat, locking my bike. Even though I was 5 min late, I still beat the person I was meeting. After the first meeting, I had about a 1/2 hour to kill before my second meeting, and decided to detour down to the ocean to have a look. Then, I decided to take my shoes off and walk to the water. And I took some pictures all the way.
It was lovely. Like, effing amazing for my soul. I swear, the moment my toes hit the sand, I instantly felt better. I’m so glad I went.