Feeling

Idling High

April 25, 2012

We haven’t been sleeping well. I’m not sure if it’s the heat, humidity, our bed or energy levels but it’s annoying. This morning? Wide awake at 3:30AM, kid you not. After taking the dog downstairs for water and getting back under the covers, I was still perfectly awake. Not even resentfully, exhausted awake. At that point, you just get up. There was no going back to sleep.

I wrote morning pages by candlelight. H got up too. He listened to Harry Potter on audio, ate egg-bake and sat quietly with me. When he went upstairs to shower, I fell asleep sitting up on the couch, and moved back to bed for a few more hours. He kissed me good-bye before he left. Carter came up and cuddled with me, having not slept well either.

Because Carter wasn’t feeling well, I decided a walk would be the best use of our morning. We meandered around the neighborhood, him sniffing and peeing on his usual spots, me taking in the grey sky and snapping a few photos. The white flowers above (roses?) are my favorite flower in the neighborhood. A bunch of houses grow them and because of the heat a few weeks ago, they’re all exploded in their yards.

My therapist said that my “idling is running high”. I couldn’t have said it better myself. As the days get longer, we’re moving into a new rhythm. That energy “overage” needs to be channeled somewhere and I’m shifting focus to my own creativity. It seems when I do, I feel happier, lighter and even excited. When I don’t, I feel pent-up and frustrated.

Today, I made a point to only put small meals of good food into my body. I worked out, processed emails, gave Carter a bath, cooked dinner and took some time to write at my favorite coffee house. Our wedding invitations went out in the mail. As I write this, I’m sipping peppermint tea to stem my grumbly tummy, but I feel good.

How is everything in your neck of the woods?

{post script: there is someone blasting rap music across the street so I don’t see tonight’s sleep going much better than last night’s ::sigh::}

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