The Gift That Keeps On Giving

March 15, 2012

I’m getting married. Whew. There, I said it. I find that with all the time we’re putting into planning the actual wedding, I haven’t thought much about getting married.

Add to that the kicking and thrashing I’ve done against having a registry and I sound like a spoiled child. I know, I know, but we thought that since we’re blessed with jobs, an apartment, and surely enough stuff for two people, the last thing we want is *more* stuff. We registered for our honeymoon, and let me tell you, that did not go over well. Apparently you’re supposed to have a bridal shower so people can buy you things you “need” and you can’t expect people to show up to a party without gifts. Tangible, bought-from-Target-has-a-matching-placemat gift. Apsht.

ANYWAYS – whether I can wrap my head around “upgrading” my “stuff” because we’re “starting our lives together” or not, I’m not gonna lie – I was freakin’ delighted that the above showed up on my doorstep.

Score one for my grandma. She plucked the green tea kettle right off my registry and promptly sent it along with a note that said “Tea for two” before other guests even received their shower invitation. I can’t tell you how awesome this is – that my first shower gift happens to be one of the most coveted on my registry and that my Grandma, who instilled in me a love of tea and elephants and Scrabble, is the one who gifted it.

It makes me think about traditions and family and all those awesome things that getting married should bring up (as opposed to panic about who to invite or sadness over not being able to afford a live band).

Growing up, my grandma (mom’s mom) babysat us a lot. And we had this pink plastic tea set. She’d fill the teapot with warm Lipton, and the little milk carafe and sugar bowl for us too. Then we’d each fill up our tiny teacups, mostly with sugar, and pretend we were sophisticated people. At least I did. Pretty sure my sister was tending to her stuffed animals and my brother was trying his hardest not to break anything so Grandma didn’t “holler” (her word, not mine).

I was her first grandchild and she spoiled me. Today was no different.

“Hi Grandma. Thanks! Yours was the first gift to arrive. I love it.”

“Oh, well. That’s good. I was the first one there when you were born too because I was down in my office and the nurses called me”.

And as I told her about how we struggled with the honeymoon registry being “acceptable” and that I was happy she liked both our Kohls registry and the honeymoon one, she said, “Well, it’s just very different, your generation from mine. Still, you’ll have some of these items for a long time and when you use them you’ll think ‘so-and-so gave us that’.”

She’s right. Now every time I boil water in my green kettle, I’ll think of her.

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  • Reply Miriam March 15, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    Wonderful tea kettle and your grandma sounds fabulous! I totally get the no gifts for the shower thing because we were in the same boat. We ended up with one filled with stuff we hardly use and a coupe of big ticket things.

    • Reply justine March 15, 2012 at 9:11 pm

      Thank you for the support haha. With the changing times, it seems a silly tradition.

  • Reply Friday Inspiration – Shell Poem « Allowing Myself March 16, 2012 at 10:23 am

    […] you add stuff like this to a registry, because this is something I feel like […]

  • Reply spacecitypaula March 16, 2012 at 4:19 pm

    I like your idea of a honeymoon registry. I’m of an age where I can comfortably buy most things I need/want. If R and I were to get married, I think there would be no registry either we simply don’t need it.

    • Reply justine March 16, 2012 at 10:21 pm

      Thanks for sharing. What feels important is the celebration of the couple rather than the “gifts” though gifts are nice.

  • Reply Katie March 16, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I got married just about a year ago, and your post reminds me of the overwhelming “supposed to’s” and “shoulds” that came from every direction. If you haven’t already, I really recommend checking out A Practical Wedding ( I found the site at the perfect moment during my wedding planning process (which I really didn’t enjoy.) It’s a community of wonderful, smart, funny, sane women.

    • Reply justine March 16, 2012 at 10:23 pm

      Oh gosh – thanks!! Congrats on your recent marriage 🙂 The planning process is tougher than one would think and then you feel extra silly b/c it’s like “why does this feel so difficult?!” Love the site… it looks like the perfect way to “detox” from planning.

  • Reply julie March 18, 2012 at 10:35 am

    I LOVE this post. And I am relieved. Very. For a reason that I can´t go along spouting on the www yet. I am not alone and obviously not too strange. Thank you 🙂

    See you around BftH, julie

    • Reply justine March 19, 2012 at 1:23 pm

      Oh, I bet I can guess haha. Good luck to you on your path 😉

  • Reply Sylvia March 19, 2012 at 10:57 am

    justine, i already commented on facebook but forgot to mention that reading this post made me a little bit teary… in a good way : )

    • Reply justine March 19, 2012 at 1:24 pm

      So glad to hear that (in a good way too!). I really love the intersection of our current day-to-days lives and our memories.

  • Reply Thank You 2012 « Allowing Myself January 1, 2013 at 6:59 pm

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